trouble is a lonesome town

when you come from trouble you are trouble then you get out of trouble. no one can tell you what to do no one is your mother. you are your mother you tell yourself what to do. you look your own way you look through the haze. there are no answers there are no winners. there are only mirrors. you feel the walls you feel the gods. you are trapped in your skin you are trapped in the straights. washing river wishing waits. you ask for redemption you pray for your karma. you ask for your jesus to help you. knocking at the billowy gates. he never comes he never answers. he leaves you waiting wondering. thinking help me lord get out of this trouble. hold my hand show me the way.

murder mystery

sliced cat throat lay in box oz greyface mix big cat come crazy eat food murdered on the loose, so many stairs, tall castle overlooks water, fairy-tale thick cerulean, swimming freely, floating, jumping without fear, running back and forth, hiding, wishing, my father is here

lonely lover

i wish i could hold on to these drunken desires forever this self-induced metallic confidence this shameless legendary. you cannot stop me you cannot see me. i am sickened wishing warting wonder. i am lightning flashing dirty water. i am electric bathtubbing danger circuitry. i am over whipped cream topping i am sundry waiting. i will make this prophecy true through my own unwanting. hold me true hold me blue. hone my deepest dark desires. fuck me now keep me later. keep me in your arms until the end of time my lovely lonely lover.

3rd period stare

agh, to write and to be written -
to love and to be loved.

there are all these wrongs in this world we try to reverse.
there are these disbeliefs we try to debunk.

to think and to say,

i am someone.

to be hated.

i am hated.
i am the cunt you talk about in 3rd period spare.
i am the cunt that lives to be despaired.

and it is such a way to be living.
to look at you and to say,

i am awful.

i am hated and i am loved.
i am evil and i am good.

i am innocent and i am fucking dirty.

you think about me and say,
i cannot believe she said i wear this coat.
i cannot believe she said i hear this voice.

i am not talented, i am not important.

i am scum and i am filth.
i am cunt and i am earth.

i am veracious acne and sickness, sickness, sickness.
i am dying on the inside and you don't know it.

i do not have an alterego.

ok, i am lying.

i am someone and i am everything.

i am the death and i am the life.

i am hated, i am someone.

i am the end and the beginning.

i care, i care so much.

i think about you and your life and i hope you will survive.
i want you to be happy i want you to suffice.

sacrifice for me.

tell me i am something.
tell me i am alive tell me i am important.

tell me i am beautiful and tell me i am righteous.
tell me i die tell me i stink tell me i lie.

tell me i'm alright.