cards

of course
i played my hand
but i am trans
formed
bright river
flowing up
i can't
come down

inspiration

he was talking words and i wasn't listening to anything he was saying. he was walking around, panting, laughing. i tried to listen but i couldn't. there was music. i want to roll around all day. i want to play. i don't want to work. please don't make me work. he inspires me.

floating around

i like feeling light, light, light
dizzy on toes
fainting, head back
blood flowing down, down, down
tingling, numb,
floating around

the ghost

my apartment is cold. every time i step foot in here i want to shower a million times. i want to scrub all the filth off. i want to wash all the sins off. i want to feel warmth, baby, i want to feel some kind of fucking warmth again. i want to scrape the guilt off. but you can't. everything is a ghost in this apartment. i am a ghost. the light is making this shadow grow. i am walking around with great shadows. i am suffering silent, pale ghost white and shivering in sweaters. i am drowning in tears on satin pillows. i am eating art for breakfast, lunch and dinner. my last day in paris was raining and i walked the seine and no one noticed me crying. you can become a ghost over night if no one is watching.

9th floor

hold the door please.
which floor?
going up.
which floor?
the 9th floor.
there is no 9th floor.
take me there.
i can't.
take me to the 9th floor.
there is no 9th floor.
8th floor.
this is the 8th floor.
take me to the 9th floor.
i can't.
fuck me on the 9th floor.
i'm married.

the law of a circle

you see, the thing is, kid, there are two rules of nature in this world, there is one thing that dictates all events and i'll tell you what, kid, i'll tell you what right now if you're lucky. nothing matters, nothing resounds, nothing exists in this world except karma. karma is in fact the law of the universe, it is a rule that never falters, never lies, never fails. everything you do, kid, every single little thing, from the most minute to the most grandiose, comes back to you. this is the rule of the universe. it is the law of a circle. everything returns. now i know you think you've got this all figured out; you see, i used to be a kid once too. but life, if you're willing to really look, and really live, and really suffer and make art and hurt others, even unintentionally; you will see after a time the perpetuation of all actions, the cyclical nature of behaviours and how they relate to society and beyond. are you with me, kid? now the two rules are be good and be bad. you have to do both to really appreciate the other. this isn't linear space we're talking about here, kid. oh no. this is the law of the circle. and every little thing you do will come back to you. you'll see. karma is the angel who beckons you to do good and she is the temptress who tricks you into doing evil. but she just wants you to be whole, kid. that's all. we all just need to be whole.