poetry is dead

poetry is dead
yes; positively, surely dead
and so you are
your eyes scream sallow death
in yellow jaundice
on your bed
there forms a pool of blood
for all you have yet sickly suffered
your hands your knees
your jangling keys
are screaming out for murder
and oh your death
will surely come
if not yet has soon pondered
oh poetry is death you see
for if not i then who would care
self-serving though it be
under soil it stiffens softly
all that you might see
a worm to feed
a life is seed
a poem is an anchor
and no one cares
and no one reads
for silence is the answer

idle morality

your idols
are striving to know you
but you have not
seen light in ages
beneath the willows
you lurk in shades
and write meaningless on leaves
the words of dying politicians
and morality wasted on youth.

idle is your way
and idle is your lost forgotten
in the murk of swamps and hollow hearts
you are clouding over

child again

yes, yes, yes
you are a child again
bows & arrows make you then
remember that time
in the forest near the creek
you spoke
to me

mistakes unmade are the fate of the dying

auspicious visions of knots and ribbons show purity how to evade the lying. had you watched the news you would know that life itself is undying. there is a child alone in the desert that dies while sleeping. hoards of tapes and icons shelve dust and reeking. guitar picks another chord of the same old meaning. rain percusses on roofs of tin-man houses. sallow painted whores sing ballads of forlorn louses. there is a man somewhere that hides in grottoes. he shows himself twice at night nude on horses. the moon is full and a lone howl remorses. mistakes unmade fade with shadows from torches. 

meanwhile in 2008...

"i know what you mean, its just like, you want to shake them and say "why don't you see what i see?""

i don't even know you i can hardly shake you.

there is no art

without pain

a sad wind

a sad wind passes through the air. it twirls around me and lifts my hair. everyone stops and turns around. they all blink and stare. motionless. the wind howling behind in the distance. getting nearer. showing no fear. and they all stand there blinking. their mouths are open and their eyes are dry. blinking blinking. standing impossibly still. barely breathing. and the wind is howling louder. approaching nearer. i stand there looking back at them. my hands are bleeding my eyes are crying. i think i am dying. i scream out the end is near. god is coming. the wind howls louder and their hair stands still. impossibly motionless. they stare deep into my eyes, reaching down into my soul. what have you done they ask why are you here. the wind howls out one last hideous cry. and like that in a whisper they all disappear.

trouble is a lonesome town

when you come from trouble you are trouble then you get out of trouble. no one can tell you what to do no one is your mother. you are your mother you tell yourself what to do. you look your own way you look through the haze. there are no answers there are no winners. there are only mirrors. you feel the walls you feel the gods. you are trapped in your skin you are trapped in the straights. washing river wishing waits. you ask for redemption you pray for your karma. you ask for your jesus to help you. knocking at the billowy gates. he never comes he never answers. he leaves you waiting wondering. thinking help me lord get out of this trouble. hold my hand show me the way.

murder mystery

sliced cat throat lay in box oz greyface mix big cat come crazy eat food murdered on the loose, so many stairs, tall castle overlooks water, fairy-tale thick cerulean, swimming freely, floating, jumping without fear, running back and forth, hiding, wishing, my father is here

lonely lover

i wish i could hold on to these drunken desires forever this self-induced metallic confidence this shameless legendary. you cannot stop me you cannot see me. i am sickened wishing warting wonder. i am lightning flashing dirty water. i am electric bathtubbing danger circuitry. i am over whipped cream topping i am sundry waiting. i will make this prophecy true through my own unwanting. hold me true hold me blue. hone my deepest dark desires. fuck me now keep me later. keep me in your arms until the end of time my lovely lonely lover.

3rd period stare

agh, to write and to be written -
to love and to be loved.

there are all these wrongs in this world we try to reverse.
there are these disbeliefs we try to debunk.

to think and to say,

i am someone.

to be hated.

i am hated.
i am the cunt you talk about in 3rd period spare.
i am the cunt that lives to be despaired.

and it is such a way to be living.
to look at you and to say,

i am awful.

i am hated and i am loved.
i am evil and i am good.

i am innocent and i am fucking dirty.

you think about me and say,
i cannot believe she said i wear this coat.
i cannot believe she said i hear this voice.

i am not talented, i am not important.

i am scum and i am filth.
i am cunt and i am earth.

i am veracious acne and sickness, sickness, sickness.
i am dying on the inside and you don't know it.

i do not have an alterego.

ok, i am lying.

i am someone and i am everything.

i am the death and i am the life.

i am hated, i am someone.

i am the end and the beginning.

i care, i care so much.

i think about you and your life and i hope you will survive.
i want you to be happy i want you to suffice.

sacrifice for me.

tell me i am something.
tell me i am alive tell me i am important.

tell me i am beautiful and tell me i am righteous.
tell me i die tell me i stink tell me i lie.

tell me i'm alright.

pursuing art

in this dreamless world
of nobodies

free phil spector

hollywood is scum
the media is scum
the president is scum
the pope is scum
MTV is scum
lawyers are scum
the internet is evil
for distracting our purpose
it's killing you, but
you can't get off facebook
so everything is lies
and paranoia is justified