meditations on stillness

there is something to be found, in a state of pure meditation, so priceless and divine that i wonder if it can ever be manifested in reality. who so often practices such stillness? when is one so honest? here i find a compassion true to the soul, a love unconditional, a peace and tranquility so ethereal and serene, only nature in its highest glory can imitate it. unadulterated Truth, in its manifest universal, tempers those ego drives which distract us from our true purpose. what work have we left to do? i long, restless and unsatisfied. is it for love? is it for freedom? is it for the work true to my soul? of course - i long to satisfy my spirit's journey, to break down the brick walls of the ego, to embrace you even when i am angry. and in those states of pure meditation i have found a Great forgiveness, a forgiveness that is impossible during waking moments. i have embraced all of you who have hurt me, unintentionally or not, you who have betrayed and abandoned me. i have cried, i have cried tears of pure joy sending you my loving energetic embrace. explosions of contempt; of fear, of jealousy, of losing control. but then again i am dragged back into the confines of reaction and i find my ego reasserting its power. my humanity mocks me. i am being tested! the ego must dissipate into stillness. i will find a place with Real Freedom. and then i will rest; satiated, tired, alone - with Love.