adventures uptown

the tiles at eglinton station look shiny today. only at eglinton would the tiles be shiny. someone actually washed them. a break of blinding greyness enters the train for davisville. i squint my eyes and turn away. i always liked davisville more than eglinton. black women are always reading something spiritual. i wonder if the men i make eye contact with will write a missed connection for me on craigslist. but i guess you have to have a connection before you can miss one. i want to deface the advertisement that warns us not to assault ttc workers. i feel like assaulting ttc workers keeps the city in check. the loveless city. i love to hate this city. wondering about the future and i'm always here. i'm obsessed with isolation. feeling alone in large spaces, not too dense but populated enough to feel surrounded by something. i want to deface everything that offends me, mostly everything around me. including human beings. maybe mash my hand into someone's face or spew water at them like a fountain. to give and get a little life out of this place. others i want to high five or rest my head on their shoulders or tell them how much i just can't stand their shoes. why not high five someone when you felt like it. or assault a public service worker. or tell someone something they might not have known. bloor station. i hate walking along the platform since it pulls you in opposite directions, so i habitually board the end of the southbound train, which gets me closest to the stairs for the east-west trains. i wonder why people always pile into the first set of stairs instead of taking the second set just behind, which is considerably less vulgar in its civility: i mean the luxury of not smelling another person or tripping on their soles, free movement. they look like worms just slithering and oozing all over one another trying to get down those stairs. just waiting for the pressure to burst and make more room. sleeping all over each other like soldiers in trenches or street kids in shantis. everything is filthy where there is too much. i wonder why people aren't in a hurry. but i have nowhere to be. my heart beats slower for a moment then regains its presto. i've got to get out of here.