a clip

"you were born on the day the sun and the moon make love. like devils and angels fucking. i bet you have wicked thoughts."

a word of advice

"listen to your breath"

junkyard talk and old friends in the movement of time and space

i had to talk to you about something but i couldn't find you anywhere. i looked all around searching for something better than myself and all i kept stumbling upon was the same goddamn thing. the same goddamn, fucking thing. why? walking around this maze you'd think eventually i'd stumble across something. even if it was nothing. nothing would be anything stumbling around this drunken maze. i kept moving because really what else was i supposed to do. nothing. looking for nothing anything important in this timeless spaceless maze.

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if i had enough time i'd tell baby stories for days but i've only got one story left at this point and about seven voices in my head. so how can i keep tellin baby stories. she won't stop talking about how much she loves to hear my goddamn stories all the time. christ girl you're telling your own goddamn story talkin so much the way you do. how's a girl supposed to listen when she can't keep her mouth shut. i keep tellin baby to shut it so i can think of the next story i wanna tell her but she can't stop pleading with me to tell another. well come on now baby. just relax calm down. papa's gonna tell you another one.

november 04 2007

black holes only exist in our universe and don't breathe out

i want to tell you everything about how i actually feel.
"is there anything you want to tell me?"
"no"
"are you sure?"
"yes"
i wish i knew how you really felt.

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i have this vision of myself in the future and i'm younger and always beautiful. all my dreams come true i'm actually happy. everything always works out in the vision of the future. someone's dying of a terminal illness. he left you.

january 08 2008

beautiful golriz

for an old friend

the snow is melting
rivers into your heart
the sun is melting snow
burning rivers
into your heart

little puddles & rivers
into your heart
like the tears of my suffrage
they burn you

but not intentionally,
of course.

the snow is melting rivers into your heart.

& once its all mushy and
red like a blood clot
the oxygen stops releasing
to your brain

i take your mushy heart
and it melts bloody between my fingers
burns holes in my hands.

you YAWN because you're losing
the oxygen in your brain.

little mushy melting puddles
of blood clots and salty tears.

the snow is melting blood clots
in my brain

but i still have oxygen.

bloody brain clots &tumors
salty dirty snow
rivers of blood and tears
melting solace in your heart

but not intentionally,
of course.

spring is coming
melting all the surfaces away

the birds are chirping
spitting up blood and tumors
because their hearts break for us,

but they can still sing.

they serenade your mushy
puddle of a heart

they sing my song to you.

they melt us together
so we become one
salty puddle

bloodless &full of oxygen

i can breathe again
but your skin is getting whiter

i will breathe the life
back into you

with my bird song
and the blood of my own heart
and the oxygen of my own brain

the sun of my soul.

i will recreate the shape
of your heart
with my own little hands

and it will beat beat beat
healthy again

your face is getting flush
no more mushiness and clots.

your heart thump
thump thumps

for me

because i reconstructed it
with my little hands

i breathe into it and mold it
until its just right again
and i hand it to you.

its so hot.
burning holes in my hands
through my little bloody fingers

you take it from me and
YAWN

you need some more oxygen.

i take your face
in my little bloody hands
and breathe all my oxygen
into your mouth

and it goes down down down.
deep into your blackened lungs.
you go, "ahh"
because you can breathe again

your head balloons up
and sighing,
you inhale deep

all the oxygen of my heart.

you won't yawn again anytime soon

with your re-mended heart
in my little hands
& all my oxygen
breathing down your lungs