jowls

yes i have it now
she points her finger in the air
i know it, i have it
you are a rooster
yes you are a PROUD COCK
indeed
she tilts her head back
in ecstasy
you have got to be kidding me
and all the colours
are angry

showing faces

you are
showing faces to me
letting faces go
shifting into cowards
i have your light
in my hand
of uninterrupted desires
i feel that
last dream
showed your true colours

meditations on stillness

there is something to be found, in a state of pure meditation, so priceless and divine that i wonder if it can ever be manifested in reality. who so often practices such stillness? when is one so honest? here i find a compassion true to the soul, a love unconditional, a peace and tranquility so ethereal and serene, only nature in its highest glory can imitate it. unadulterated Truth, in its manifest universal, tempers those ego drives which distract us from our true purpose. what work have we left to do? i long, restless and unsatisfied. is it for love? is it for freedom? is it for the work true to my soul? of course - i long to satisfy my spirit's journey, to break down the brick walls of the ego, to embrace you even when i am angry. and in those states of pure meditation i have found a Great forgiveness, a forgiveness that is impossible during waking moments. i have embraced all of you who have hurt me, unintentionally or not, you who have betrayed and abandoned me. i have cried, i have cried tears of pure joy sending you my loving energetic embrace. explosions of contempt; of fear, of jealousy, of losing control. but then again i am dragged back into the confines of reaction and i find my ego reasserting its power. my humanity mocks me. i am being tested! the ego must dissipate into stillness. i will find a place with Real Freedom. and then i will rest; satiated, tired, alone - with Love.

falling

i am falling
into a great
still body
a soft eruption
(awake)
bathing in
your moonlight

the man i love

the man i love
is a man i need
the man he is
is the man he'll be
when he lets go
he soon will see
the man he is
& ought to be

unloading

it has been a long time making
this winding unravelling
i hoped to find closure down a sunlit path
with spotted shade & green virginity
and ethereal breeze of lilac blossoming
and ocean salts which are not there
but burn my lips somehow
the willows thrashing
in the savage lake winds
like children laughing with their hands buried in soil
primordial,
it is understanding that
though our hearts are broken for each other
nothing can be reconciled with love
but only healed slowly.

thank you

thank you kindly, kitten -
i wonder if you realize the great favour you have paid me.
i wonder also if you realize how perfect you are for one another because
you are both so selfish, vapid and shallow
though you are truthfully not quite in my league
i don't blame you
for an easy lay from a good-looking man
with pebbles for brains
why, it has probably been a long time
(if ever)
for you, fool -
you wretchedly uncultivated, condominium woman
i wonder if you realize how many times i have played this scene in my mind
but why would you care, or apologize
when everything has always been about you.
please, don't believe i still regard you highly,
though i could never derive joy from your sadness or anxiety
i still think you are a conniving, lying bitch
and i hope it was worth my sanity.