unloading

it has been a long time making
this winding unravelling
i hoped to find closure down a sunlit path
with spotted shade & green virginity
and ethereal breeze of lilac blossoming
and ocean salts which are not there
but burn my lips somehow
the willows thrashing
in the savage lake winds
like children laughing with their hands buried in soil
primordial,
it is understanding that
though our hearts are broken for each other
nothing can be reconciled with love
but only healed slowly.

thank you

thank you kindly, kitten -
i wonder if you realize the great favour you have paid me.
i wonder also if you realize how perfect you are for one another because
you are both so selfish, vapid and shallow
though you are truthfully not quite in my league
i don't blame you
for an easy lay from a good-looking man
with pebbles for brains
why, it has probably been a long time
(if ever)
for you, fool -
you wretchedly uncultivated, condominium woman
i wonder if you realize how many times i have played this scene in my mind
but why would you care, or apologize
when everything has always been about you.
please, don't believe i still regard you highly,
though i could never derive joy from your sadness or anxiety
i still think you are a conniving, lying bitch
and i hope it was worth my sanity.

inescapable scent

there is an earthy sensuality in your soul,
but you do not understand it.
nay, you know it so well that you will wander recklessly forever.
i want to believe that you are in fact a bad man,
that your mind is starved of emotional integrity
and that in your heart lies nothing more than a pile of discarded photographs.
but i find instead the regrets of old souls and raging ocean currents
hidden under heavy blankets.
i am sorry for you who is entangled in the web of my Great Love,
which is boundless for it knows not how to become old.
you,
you have pressed me against this wall that i am bound to cherish
for your scent will not escape me.

at the bottom

i swallow you whole
i want to keep you forever
you will live in my belly
i will eat your nose
so you can't sniff her out
i know you are
an animal
i swallow you whole
i swallow your nose
i swallow your cum but i don't want to
i only do it for you
i will keep you forever
you will live in my belly
i must hold you dear
to look in the mirror

the shits

i am wading in the shits
i am wading avant-garde for mother
i hold out my hands
for a soft fingertip on pursed lips
i find some small treasures
sometimes on dark trips
my jaw is clenched
but i throat-deep
in dicks
you can smile at me from over there
on your mossy perch
still i am
swimming in your tricks
on the intestine floor
i find tiny pricks
of smoky sapphire and amethyst
and pearls of blistering ulcers
and i see myself
when i go under
i go down, down, down
i close my eyes
and swallow

analog tonight

ANALOG
thoughts are becoming me
i spend too much time
on the internets
i still use ICQ
you can call me crazy
but only i know its true
you can say goodbye
but i won't leave you
no no no no no
i will love you forever
i am going analog tonight
i will call you
on my landline telephone
i will jump up and down
and dance with joy
for all the days
i loved you
until i am blue in the face
with moon

murky waters

elevens and threes
i think i might be
on the brink of insanity
i am seeing signs -
do they have expectations of my purity?
i ask, of course, with perfect humility.
my halo is not screwed on right.
my christmas lights are burnt out.
my wood is warped.
let's sit on this ledge
and hold on tight for dear life
like gargoyles with gaping mouths made of stone
and scream angels do you listen when i cry?
jesus do you exalt me only after i die?
i would raise my arms to you
god, but i am glued
i would like to know what it feels like to be a fool
without drifting into murky waters
my teeth
are encrusted with jewels